The Notion of Ubuntu

After I grunted somewhat under my breath over what was said by one 'expert' during a talent development symposium, an equally annoyed acquaintance asked me to define the concept of ‘Ubuntu’ since she could see that I was contemptuous (her words) of what was said by the ‘expert’. I was at a loss for words because as disdainful as my expression seemed this was something I couldn’t explain since I would never capture this notion in a single word not even in a sentence. I looked at my acquaintance a little defeated, and mumbled, 'I can’t explain it.” She then gave me one look, and it declared ‘If you can’t walk the walk don’t talk the talk!’

After the look, like a Mexican stand-off I stared back at the acquaintance, then at the “expert” as she waltzed off then shot from the hip, “I am one of those people who learn through pictures, and right now I’m busy flipping pictures in my head to paint a few for you, guess what and I can't seem to find something that will help me explain this to you in a manner that you can understand. I am out of my wits but that does not mean she is right, Ubuntu did not begin in 1994, it really was no cornerstone of nothing, the notion is supposed to be part our everyday life as a human race, and goodness me I’m exhausted by these so called 'experts' and courses on Ubuntu!”

Suddenly it dawned on me that my acquaintance didn’t get it, and that the reason I couldn’t explain this notion to her was because it was never explained or taught to me either, this notion formed a huge part of my childhood, my youth, my young adulthood and my present life. My passage through life has been a circuit filled with a plethora of acts of kindness, some I grew up witnessing and others are still witnessed and being experienced to this day.  I stammered further “Ubuntu is not something you can touch, smell, hear, or taste. I’d like to think the sense of sight might only come close if you are really pushing me for a definition.”

“Here’s the thing” I pushed on “Ubuntu is an act that my siblings and I grew up witnessing. We witnessed our parents being parents to all children in our neighbourhood. We witnessed our neighbours parenting us when our parents weren’t there, when my father was hospitalized leaving my mother spending time in hospital. We witnessed weddings in our neighbourhood attended by people form near and far, some known and unknown, and that wasn't strange. We witnessed strangers visiting our household during a meal and our parents offering a meal to them too. And that my dear friend is something we proudly pass to our children.” I paused waiting for a response instead the lens that the acquaintance was by then looking at me through had change or so.

“We were not unique like that, you know, nearly every African people I know grew up in a similar system, and my understanding is that when it is said that someone does not have Ubuntu it only means his/her actions have gone beyond what is known to humans as conventional – the person would by then threading in the world known only to those in fours and by him/her.

As I'm writing this I do not claim to be an expert but am driven by wanting to know the correct method by which we can  impart Ubuntu. What really is the conventional way ? Can Ubuntu be regarded a skill to be  taught at an institution by ‘experts’  or Is Ubuntu what defines humans, and sets us apart from animals and should be passed down by the hands that rear us? Should children be nurtured only by their parents? And finally Is Ubuntu a skill or a totem?